My Friend Ali

In this small summer town the season hasnt started. Schools in Turkey typically end around mid-June so this place is silent and still. None of my regular friends have arrived yet but on Facebook on a dull night I saw that my friend Ali was in town. I immediately jumped at the opportunity to see him.

The reason Ali, now 26-years-old, is here unlike the rest of our friends is because he recently finished university and even more recently finished his mandatory military service. In Turkey, men have a to serve in the military for 18 months if they didnt finish university and 6 if they had. It is a cultural understanding here that whenever a soldier finishes his service he will forever be talking about his time there. I was pretty excited to meet up with my friend because I knew he'd have stories and Ali is a talented talker if there is such a thing. He is a great conversationalist and the best story teller, he could probably embellish a tale about a snail.


So we did the usual, grabbed some beers at the mini-market (and by mini I mean the size of Shannen's closet) and walked down to the seaside. After I told him about my typical first year experience at a typical American university, and after light gossip about what the rest of our friends have been up to, and even lighter conversation on the coming elections that we both are hopeless about we warmed up enough for him to tell his 6 month experience.

I dont think I've ever laughed at one's misery to hard before. He told me about how early he would get up, his daily chores, and how he had to shave every single day. He then explained his special responsibilities. Ali landed a spot as a sort of secretary but with much more stress and responsibility. It was his job to organize security for the routes the country's most important politicians would be taking. Instead of the usual physical labor that comes with being a soldier, Ali's job was more mentally straining and also required more hours out of the day. Unlike his mates that would be the actual security that Ali would have to organize, he would work 12 hours a day instead of 6-8 hours.

Then he told me about the aburd details that came with his job. Ali had to answer every phonecall that came through. He told me about the strange calls he would often receive.
Ring.
Ali - Yes, Commander
Commander- Ali Soldier, what day is it today?
Ali - It is Monday, sir.
Commander - Okay. That is all.
Click.
Ring.
Ali - Yes, Commander
Commander - Ali Soldier, what day will it be tomorrow?
Ali - It will be Tuesday, sir.
Commander - Okay. That is all.
Click.
When he explained this part I wondered if the Commander had heard Rebecca Black's single hit this year...
When my friend explained this to me I didn't believe it. He had to be kidding. Why would some commander waste his and another's time like that? But Ali contested that it was, unfortuanately, no joke. He recalled the worst of them all.
Ring.
Ali - Yes, Commander
Commander - Ali Soldier, can you name me all the dates of Mondays in the month of April?
Ali - Errr.. 1,8,15,...
Commander - Thank you Soldier.
Click. And he said before his hand even released the phone RING
Ali - Yes, Commander
Commander - Ali Soldier, could you name me all the dates for Tuedays in the month of April?
Ali (furious and frustrated at this point) - 2, 9, 16...
Commander - Thank you, that is all.

Some sick joke, right? Bro, just add a day.
After 170 days he is finally home happy to be back. But now a job, wife, and a new life are expected of him.